


Behind The Scenes

by FanaticA4Ev3r



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: First time for everything, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, thanks for reading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6164679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanaticA4Ev3r/pseuds/FanaticA4Ev3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He is watching, he is conscious, but he does not want to stop. This is a night like any other *dinner time* the moment where everyone tries to relax and share the events of the day, but he decides it is better to pretend and answer the questions he may vaguely hear from his friend and knows that he has failed when his eyes have once again been directed towards the face he is trying to ignore. </p><p>“fuck” </p><p>He thinks and he has to do something before everyone realizes what is happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I deleted this work and re-posted again... because, well I thought it needed more work, none the less I hope you like it and please feel free to comment. I am really doing this to help me practice writing in English, so... if any suggestions about or comments (constructive, of course) will greatly appreciate it!
> 
> NOTE: I do not own any SNK character, I am just a Fanatica(fanatic) of the show and I am a 100% ERERI shipper ^-^  
> and finally, this work is not BETA.
> 
> FYI: Hange will not be referred (I'll try) to Female or Male I rather keep it as either Hange or Squad Leader Hange or S.L. Hange for short.

**PRESENT TIME...**

 

It was late; somehow, he could tell. Remembering what happened is something very difficult to do since he still has trouble remembering events when he has to abandon his humanity, this time, it is one of those moments. When he opens his eyes, not completely because the light hurts them and he slowly regains his sight, he can see a dark figure that seems to be next to the window, not far from his bed. He carefully moves his head, trying not to make too much noise because it is part of his nature to be curious and wants to know who this person is,  

“ _Mikasa”_  

His first thought, but stops when he knows exactly who the figure is and decides to admire the way the moonlight in contrast with the light of the candles is the perfect combination with the person's face. The expression that he sees is what has the boy amazed because he has never seen this before *not like this* this is one of those ones in a million moments and he decides to continue admiring everything just for a little more.

“You have finally woken up. You had us worried… Do you know who I am?”

The boy nods because he cannot find his voice. He feels hands trying to help him to sit and when doing so he gets dizzy, but a stronghold prevents him to fall face down. It takes him a few seconds but manages to regain his balance and the swirling feeling in his stomach settles, but all this is very familiar because it is what happens every time *sometimes are better than others* and he guesses that this is the price to pay when a person knows nothing about the alter ego that exists within himself.

“I lost control again and I was fine at first. I know… I, I remember the beginning, but then something happened and everything went, went---”. The boy tries to explain when he is finally able to talk.

“Try to remain calm or you'll end up hurting yourself. I spoke with Hange and we decided to stop the experiments at least for a week or until I return.”

“Why are you leaving again?”

He couldn’t help but ask, for some reason this person, his superior, _the Captain_ , the one responsible to take care of him and be there when things went berserk, is going away once more. The person that had to rescue him this time during the experiment carried out early was his sister.  She had been appointed to do so in the absence of the Captain in which the latter had taken a long time. He had left the day after everyone had returned from their last expedition, came back and stayed for a couple of days only to leave again for over a week, nine days to be exact, yesterday being day number nine.

“Is there something you need to address to me before I leave?

“No, is just… Captain, you have just returned and I am surprised to hear that you are leaving again”

 “I'm going to tell your friends to bring your dinner.  Tomorrow, I would like for you to stay here to rest, as soon as you feel better you can resume your training and tasks, of course. Hange is in charge of the squad and I will make sure that my orders are fulfilled.”

The Captain left the room before giving the boy a chance to respond. He has so many questions for his superior but is afraid to ask, it is likely that he doesn't want to know the answer because he knows that all of what is happening has to do with him. 

  _                     _

“I’m glad to see you are feeling better Eren, even Squad Leader Hange is worried.”

Armin tells him while his sister gives him dinner. Eren knows that his friend is also worried about him because of the tone of his voice and his sister is too even if she remains silent. Once the dinner is over, the boy looks at his friends sitting on the bed in front of him and just wants to apologize to them for making them worry, but again it is one of those things *which is sad to say* but it has happened so many times that it has become part of their lives.

“Thanks, Mikasa, for helping me,” Eren tells her trying to fill the silence that has settled between them.

“You don’t have to thank me Eren,” Mikasa responds with a soft smile that is enough for him to understand that she is happy that he is doing fine.  And he somehow has to ask, especially knowing his sister is not too fond of the person he is inquiring about “I saw… I saw the Captain earlier.  Is the Commander back too?”

“Yes, but the Squad leader Hange got an earful from the Captain when he found out what had happened, right Mikasa” She nods, and Armin continues “I heard that even the Commander forbade her from doing any more experiments so close together.”

 “For once I agree with their decision; sometimes the Squad Leader forgets that you are human” Mikasa added using her permanently frustrated tone. Eren finishes his meal and makes a gesture to reach his glass of water finding it empty. Mikasa helps to pour more water from the larger container and leaves the room to get more for later that night.

“The Captain is leaving again,” Eren tells his friend once they were alone. “They got back this afternoon; rumor is that Commander and Captain were summoned by the head of the three military divisions”

“Is because of me,” he says as a matter of fact.

“Part of it, but my guess is also because of the most recent events. Anyways, did the Captain say something to you?” with a harsh exhale Eren responds "That's the problem, he does not say much, only, just to say what he feels is necessary."

"We all know what the Captain is like, but if this worries you it's better if you ask him or maybe you want to talk to the Commander. I'm sure neither will hide anything from you ... they both know how important you are to them, to all of us."

Eren agrees with his friend because he knows that sooner or later he has to clear up his doubts and just hopes to get an honest answer. Once Mikasa returned, they stayed talking a little more until Hange came to check on the boy, and the two visitors were sent to their respective barracks to let him rest. 

      _                     _

It's early; the sun is not yet out but is clearly the next day. He wakes up in the noise of horses that sounded close to where he is.  The boy rose from his bed regardless of the cold stone floor, it's funny, because he knows exactly who owns one of the horses, only by the sound of the neighing, the gallop. When he is able to get to the window, is just in time to see the parting figure. Then *as a scene from a film is playing in front of his vision* he remembers:

-When he saw ‘the wings of Liberty' the time he was able to help win the first battle against titans.

-When he had woken up after three days in a coma to find himself in the presence of the ‘scouting legion’s absolute best’ Commander Erwin and Humanity's Strongest Captain Levi and that same day he had been recruited to the scouting Legion by the Captain himself. He remembers him saying that he was going to vouch for him,  he was the only one fit for the job, the job to kill him if he ever went ‘rogue’ or started a ‘rampage’.

-The way they looked at each other the first time he was going to headquarters of the Scouting Legion. He knew that the Captain hadn’t stopped looking at him, not for one second.

-How he was saved by the Captain from his own comrades after accidentally converting part of himself into a titan and there was more, so, so much more.  Those little things here and there but there he was, and yes he had questions concerning his titan but there were others concerning his human and there was only one person that had all the answers.

 _Realization_  is what finally hits him. The boy finally realizes after seeing this person leaving him once again with all these questions, but this time he cannot do anything more than to smile and wait for the Captain to return.


	2. Starting Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : mentions of violence

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

The day when humanity remembered the reality that surrounded them, there was a boy who even at an early age had already experienced the cruelty that lives within that same humanity. However, it is the same child who made the oath to exterminate his constant threat and help save what is left of it, refusing to lose hope, he made a promise to become the strongest to protect them and free them from their nightmare. It's been a few years since the boy joined those who like him also share the same desire. He still keeps his promise and gets stronger every time, even when in a cruel way he has also learned about the non-human side that existed within him, giving his already difficult existence more questions and no answers.

Time never stops, life goes on and sooner or later the boy will realize that his human side like any other also has needs and desires.

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**SOMETIME AGO...**

 

“Er- -, E--n, you hav…ke up”

He wants to continue sleeping, feels tired and his body refuses to obey the command that his brain is ordering to move, but he manages to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is his sister with a concern expression on her face “finally!...” She says and apparently, she had tried for some time to wake him “…is time to go.”

With a great effort he moves and gets up and feels disoriented, but questions later because his stomach reminded him that he is  _very_  hungry  “Did you have that dream again?” Mikasa asks, and he does not answer because he does not remember dreaming; in fact, he just remembers ... darkness. “Hurry up before shorty comes and sees you like that.”

 “ _Shorty?"_ Eren thinks and something clicks. Mikasa must be talking about the Captain; he would be the only person she could be referring to using such word.     

"There you guys are! I've been looking everywhere for you. Lunch is ready and they want us to hurry up before our next briefing” Armin tells them as he hurries to reach them so they can go to the meeting place together.

"Briefing?" Eren asks this time and boy! He must have really been sleeping for a long time because he has no idea what Armin is talking about and Mikasa looks at him confused and worried "I think I kicked you too hard" She tells him, but Eren is internally looking for some kind of discomfort and realizes that he feels no pain *anywhere* maybe, he thinks that the loss of his memory could, in fact, be due to any blow to the head that he got from Mikasa during his early training and hopes that sooner or later he will remember and life will continue as usual.

Right?

  _          

 "Training is really getting harder. I cannot believe Mikasa knocked you out cold."

"Maybe she did it because I still don't remember anything," Eren says to his friend and both chuckled, but they stop the conversation with the arrival of  squad leader Hange and also Captain Levi who was only a few steps behind.

"Mr. Yeager and Mr. Arlert, thank you for coming" Hange begins and continues: "As you know tomorrow we are going to start the next phase of our experiments. The Captain and I have decided that your friend will be the first to help us and this is what we are going to do -------- ".

The boys looked at each other just because they knew that tomorrow would be a long one if Hange is involved. And paying attention to the explanations, details, and concerns of what is going to happen in the experiments was asking too much. And by the looks on the Captain's face, he already knew everything beforehand and also because it was painfully obvious that he was forced to listen to everything one _-more-time_ and, of course, Eren noticed, even with his blank face *devoid of any kind of emotions* how does he knows what his superior is feeling? *call it a hunch* but the boy can sense it.

 

_                     _                   

"The Captain sure does not like to talk," Armin says when they were on their way back to their barracks and Eren agrees. "Maybe he was afraid to interrupt the squad leader and run the risk of having the explanations start again," Eren playfully tells him and both laughed at the suggestion.

"I've just crossed a few words with Captain Levi and it's very funny, but for some reason, I can only remember how his voice sounds from that day in the courtroom," Armin said without thinking and felt sorry the minute he let the words out because he didn't mean to do it. To make Eren remember that painful moment *literally* but Eren just shakes his head not minding the slip out.

"There is only one person who knows who the real Captain is ..." The boys heard someone interrupting them abruptly. That, someone, had been listening to their conversation and it was very clear that this person is saying it as a statement "... and it is none other than the Commander himself if you know what I mean"

This person is a member of the squad that had recently been recruited and for some reason, the boy could not remember his name and the "you know what I mean" part bothers him "No, we do not know what you mean," he answers without hiding his disgust.

"Ah! ... I forgot that you two are still babies who have no idea what the meaning of the “real world” and “human nature" so come talk to me when you are older or if you are curious, it will make me very happy to explain it to both of you" Fortunately, when Mikasa approaches the boy decides to leave them. Eren and Armin don’t even bother to comment. 

 

_                     _                     _                       

 “…according to Squad Leader we will start after lunch, Mikasa will be in practices with the others and I will be beh-- Eren, are you listening?” during their breakfast time, Armin is explaining *trying to* the basics of experiments for later on that same day, but it is obvious that his friend 's mind is elsewhere.

“umm…” Eren is still thinking of the words that the other man had said the day before.

Remember, these are young boys and girls that yes, they have been exposed to death, violence, injustice, sadness, and so many others things for far too long.  Also,  that the good or bad part of being human or the ‘normal’ human functionality is for them more or less--- a sort of distant memory. And the idea of something different from what they are used to can easily attract them like a moth to a flame since anything outside their ‘normal way of life’ can be called  _new._  

“Eren!”

The shout comes from Armin and he not only receives Eren’s attention but everyone else in the dining room.  And you can see the red on Armin’s face immediately because the last thing you want to do in a room full of military people is,  _yell_ in a room full of  _edgy_   _military people_ and the only word that follows in the dead silence room is a soft -sorry.

“I am sorry Armin. I got distracted.”

“I can see that”

"You were saying?”

“It doesn’t matter Eren. I guess we’ll get to that later.  I want to know what is making you look like a zombie, and it is not because you are nervous about the experiment. Am I right?"

“No, is actually about … well, what the guy said”

“What!?” And yes, Armin is a little confused because he doesn’t understand exactly ---“ _oh, wait a minute” ---_ he thinks to himself and he remembers, “ _last night_ ”.

“Is this about the Captain and the Commander?”

“shhhhh”  Eren shushes his friend’s question because the last thing he needs is people thinking that he has doubts about his Superiors…umm... friendship? *he does* “What do you think of what the guy was implying? It is obvious that Commander Smith knows about the Captain because he was who recruited him in the first place” he was talking more freely when both were outside where no one could hear them. 

 “Honestly, I never thought of them as…well --– they are  _our Superiors_  and…”

 “You think that they are more than friends too? Is that what you think he was saying?”  Eren feels embarrassed about the idea but also feels guilty for thinking of something that could be even considered taboo, just like talking about books from the outside world. And his friend does not answer but makes a gesture that says we should not talk about this and both remain silent.

They are young and their minds are still innocent, but that does not mean that they are oblivious to certain things and in their mind, the memory of a boy from his younger days is still printed. Because it was a surprise to them when they discovered by accident or sort of curiosity was more involved, about his --- life choices?… 

\---

\------

_They were running and Armin was doing it for a very different reason than Eren  – you see–  Armin wanted to stop Eren, and of course, being the hotheaded child he was, he wasn’t listening to Armin’s pleadings, and Mikasa was nowhere in sight, but eventually both got to the source of weeping and wailing they had heard._

_The scene was not something different from what they sadly already had experienced before and the only difference was that they found were not children or adults, but teenagers. The youngest of them looked about fourteen, there were four of them in total and another was on the ground *_ the source _* the boys were shouting to the boy in the floor using foul words and they repeatedly used a 'word' that neither of the kids had heard before, but it sounded more insulting than any of the other ones._

_Eren tried to help him, but he couldn't because his Armin’s entire body was holding him with his arms on a tight grip to his waist.  Armin knew that if they intervened they would end up worse than the one on the floor -long story short- when Armin saw some soldiers, he ran for help and with an unknown force to him, he was -literally- dragging Eren. The soldiers helped the young boy, but of course, the others had fled when they saw all of them coming._

_Once back at his Armin’s house, Eren was still fuming about the cruelty and lack of strength to help when necessary. Eren suddenly stops when he remembers something and looking at his friend he asked what was the meaning of the 'word'  Armin shrugs because he had no idea and Eren was probably ---what? Eight or nine years old at the time, Armin a little younger, but both were very curious_ *age has nothing to do with it* _and Yes! you guessed it, Armin found a book *could also be called a dictionary*  when they finally found the meaning of the word and according to his friend’s explanation, basically, the meaning is:_

  _'A derogatory way to call a male who is not attracted to females, but is only attracted to other males'_

 

\------

\---

“I think they should punish people who talk about their superior's private lives” Eren finally says once back to his reality, and thinks it's best to leave that topic and focus on what is important; his training and the Titan’s experiments, perhaps, because he does not feel with the right to meddle in the lives of the two people whom he is very grateful and respects, especially the Captain who is not only a hero for humanity but is also the person who he admires from the moment he learned of his existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading, C U Soon!


	3. Choosing the wrong path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of Levi is in this chapter. I will be alternating them and I don't know when the switch will happen, but as you can tell I am pretty much sticking with Eren.

“Eren, I would like to know if you need something else or if you have questions” The Commander is asking, the Captain and Hange are also in the room. The boy shakes his head and feels exhausted because of the experiment early in the afternoon.

"Well, I want to ask you a few more questions, but I'll have to go look for some papers that I forgot and then I will ---" Hange continued while the Captain was very aware of the boy's watchful eye directed towards him and the commander and he thinks that it is probably due to a curious desire to know about their conversation *which is not about him* he also notes that the boy nodding and trying to answer Hange's questions.

The Captain's face remains the same, without saying or showing anything special, just listening to the orders of his Commander. After a few minutes, he subtly decides to change his position making the commander face the boy *nope, that doesn't help* and he no longer has any doubt that this deep look is directed especially at him. Once the Commander finishes with his orders for what follows in the list of his tasks, they both make sure that Hange has finished with the usual thousand questions, obviously, Hange has not yet finished and that gives the Captain time to think about the boy's strange behavior. 

“ _Whatever this brat is thinking probably has to do with the fight early today,”_ he thinks.

"I'll be right back" he hears Hange say leaving the room with the Commander a few steps behind waving his hand to say goodbye and wish him goodnight. Levi remains in the room and by Eren’s expression is clearly asking why he had stayed. That is what irks the Captain, to think how easy it is to read the brats thoughts and that is precisely the reason where lies the problem, he does not like what else he is reading.

"Are you okay?" Levi asks once more to end the awkward silence and also because he needs to shake off the weird feeling and break the tension that has suddenly begun to build between them. The boy seems startled by the question but immediately nods in response and the captain finds that to be a strange reaction because is not the first time they are alone in a room and it certainly will not be the last. "I'll make sure that Hange doesn’t take long and allows you to sleep," he continues and the boy nods again. After that, they don't talk anymore *well, the Captain doesn't* and is better to think that they are both exhausted and that is what is making the boy act that way.  Levi decides that is the easiest explanation and it is probably better to leave him well enough alone.

 

 _                  

 

“Different?”

“Yes, different! Have you notice anything different in Yeager?”

“Not really. As far as I know, he is the same hotheaded kid that we all know and love”

“Cut the crap four eyes”

“Well, if you tell me what have you notice different on the boy, perhaps I can tell you if he is  _or_ not”

“Don’t you think that if I knew, I would not have come to ask you and for fuck's sake! You are the one conducting the experiments on the brat, shouldn’t you know if he is acting weird or not!”

“No Levi, he is not and you don’t have to blow your top … wait! The only thing---maybe, ummm. ”

“Maybe? What?”

“He is been a little distracted lately.  Is that the reason why you are asking?”

Levi sighs in exasperation but nods at the question. They are both at Hange’s lab and the Captain found the perfect opportunity to ask about Eren’s sort of recent change of attitude and 'Distracted' is not necessarily the word he is aiming, because there is something more and wants to make sure he’s not the only one who has noticed.

“He is what…fifteen, sixteen?”

“He could be twelve and why in hell does that matter”

“It matters Levi and a lot! You were that age once.  Weren’t you?”

“Yes, and?”

“And from what I can tell, you don’t remember how it is to be that age and…discover”

“ _Why do I fucking ask this person_ ,” Levi thinks and with a hand gesture, he urges Hange to continue “He is in that age where he discovers…” Hange goes silent, as in, waiting for Levi to finish the sentence and patience is one of the things that Captain has close to... two, one, wait – _NONE_ – but the curiosity is there and he is determined to find out even if it means putting up with Hange’s games “… Girls, Levi, GIRLS!” Hange emphasizes the last word for him as in –you should know what that means– and yeah,  _he gets it_ “Oh, fuck. This is the last thing we need a hormonal-teenage-boy-titan-horny-for-girls”

“I never said he was horny” Hange corrects him.

“What do you mean?” Hange snorts at Levi’s cluelessness “I think that this is different because of his distractions, I think that he actually is  _infatuated_ ”

“ _Fuck that! That’s even worse”_ He thinks without saying a word to Hange. That is the conclusion he had arrived too and just needed to make sure, now it's a matter of doing something *but what?* He also thinks that there is only one person responsible for the boy's ’problems’ without adding that the kid also has (to sum it all) the entire world waiting for their Humanity’s hope to save them and _all-of-it_  is happening at the most inopportune time.

 

 _                     _                    

 

“Are you sure you want Ackerman to be present?”

“yes, and the blonde too”

“Arlert?”

“Yes, according to Hange’s reports, Yeager responds better when they are present. I also think they should prepare in case I’m not around and you know Ackerman is the next best thing”

“Very well Levi, if you and Hange are sure, I won’t oppose. After all, you two know better”

“Perfect, we are starting after the next mission”

The titan shifter was the last topic on the agenda between the Captain and the Commander.  When Levi leaves the Commander’s office he is convinced that is better for Eren to have his friends with him, not only for the missions or training but for the tests that Hange is preparing. He wants them to be close now that he thinks that the boy’s problem???  Might affect him, and Hange could be right, they are all young and in the perfect age for having those kinds of feelings. They are humans after all and no matter what, that is a part of being a human.

“ _Fuck it,_  w _e still have a lot to prepare for the next expedition_ ,” he thinks on his way to the dining room to get a well deserve and relaxing cup of tea.

 

_                     _                     _

 

“Captain” he hears and stops reading his orders from the next expedition to address the person that is calling out to him.

“I want to thank you for helping me,” the boy tells him and Levi looks puzzled because he honestly doesn’t know why he is being thanked for “Yesterday. I never said thanks.” the boy explains and the Captain gives a little nod and assumes that the conversation is over.

“Is the Commander...” a pause, awkward but long pause, “…is he coming to dinner?” Eren questions and is not uncommon for the Commander to sometimes join them for dinner. Levi shrugs as in –don’t know, don’t care– and goes back to his paper.

“You two are very good friends... is like with Armin and I… I remember when Pe--someone told me that the Commander recruited you a few years back and–” Eren stops once Levi’s attention goes back to him, along with an annoyed expression and is also obvious that the boy has no idea how to follow the conversation, or how to get to what he is curious about.  They had spoken before, but this time for Levi is very clear that lately is getting very difficult for the boy to express what he is thinking or even phrase about what exactly it is that he wants to know. And is not like him, at all, and is getting worse.

“Is there something you need to ask the Commander or do you want me to relay any message to him?” Levi asks after a few minutes of silence and Eren shakes his head “No, I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to properly thank you for your help yesterday” and without any other word Eren leaves and goes back to his friends and Levi to his papers.

A few minutes later Hange comes to the table to talk to Levi about their orders and this time he is not listening. His attention is directed towards Eren and thinks about the boy, his infatuation and why he is having such a hard time with the concept and so far he has a few theories:

-The boy is oblivious about Mikasa’s feelings. Which is hard to believe because even he *of all people* can see it and he doesn’t have a clue of his own infatuation, which means, he doesn’t know that he too likes her.

-Eren knows about their feelings for each other and has no idea how to express it, maybe is hard for him because Mikasa is considered his sister and thinks that everyone will judge them.

“ _They are not related_ ,” Levi thinks, but either way, he also knows that there is not much he can do because when it's something to do with relationships, he is sure to be the last person to give any advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Update. Thanks for reading and I hope to See YOU soon!
> 
> Live, Love & LEVI all the way...... \\(^*^)/


	4. Provoking curiosity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa the HERO!!! in this chapter. She is Awesome! and she's here to kick some big Titan's ASS.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: Mild contents or mentions of violence.

_Fuck the idiot who put ideas in his head,_  the boy thought. Why the hell had he decided to stop and talk to him early in the morning and before the big experiment that Hange had planned. Because of that, he had not been able to focus and the result was complete apocalyptic chaos and thanks to the Captain and Mikasa it didn't end in major incidents. Now, as usual, he was lying in a bed, after trying so many times to keep control of his titan and managed to have less and less control over it, now with a completely exhausted body, his mind raising and the boy simply can't, he just can't ... 

 

 --

\------

 

_"You have no idea what the hell you're talking about!"_

_"It's YOU who has no idea kid because it's what you are A-KID!"_

_"You're not older than me. You'd better stop that before-"_

_"Before what?... What? You're going to squeal on me. You don't have the balls to go with the Commander and ask him, oh, better yet ... why don’t you ask him to confirm the 'secret' or rather the not so secret that everyone knows."_

  _“Stop!”_

  _“What is it? Don’t pretend that you haven't noticed the way those two look at each other. The lovey-dovey eyes that make each other, and better yet, the amount of time they spend together. Alone...”_

_"Fuck you. I said enough!"_

_"... or the way the Captain follows the commander's orders to the letter like the well-trained puppy that he is."_

_"That's his job! To follow orders. Imbecile!"_

  _And the trainee laughed mockingly because he knew what he was doing. He knew it was too easy to tease and make Eren angry, and he was enjoying it too much. A few members of the squad came to investigate the screams that seemed to be escalating to a physical fight. Connie and Sasha were standing next to Eren trying to calm him down without knowing about the dispute, but they knew him well enough to understand that the boy was more than ready to give a good lesson of common sense to other._

_"Eren, you have to calm down, man", Connie says in a low voice and he listens as Eren grinds his teeth because he was a hair ready to teach the idiot a lesson he would never forget._

_"What the hell is happening here?"_

_They all stop the argument before the voice of command of which everyone knew very well who it was. Eren’ eyes immediately went to the idiot who had a face that read that he was about to shit his pants, after a few more stressful seconds, Sasha spoke, "Nothing Captain, we're all excited about tonight's dinner" and she is the only person who can talk about food in a tense situation because it is not the first time she does it, and to cover her excuse everyone else murmured that they agreed. Eren felt it wasn't worth to tell the Captain what was really going on._

 

\------

\---

… "I'm going crazy," he thinks, and he's trying to forget everything that has happened since the idea was first put in his head, but everything is printed or rather tattooed in his mind. "I need to forget about this because there are more important things to do... Yes... stronger, I need to train more and focus on Hange’s experiments or otherwise I will never be able to defeat the Titans" his last thoughts before drifting away in a much-needed rest. 

 

_                    

 

The day of the expedition is finally here, and as always an air of anxiety and nerves is felt, no matter how many times or how many expeditions are made, there is always the same anxiety, fear, and uncertainty that  _this_  may be the last time. 

The door open and once out everyone follows the formation orders that they had memorized days earlier, because a small mistake or miscalculation doesn’t make them lose time, but lives.  The first hour everything goes according to plan and no sign of Titans which is good since they have the opportunity to cover more territory and mark the lands.  Eren looks towards the front where the Captain, Hange, and the Commander are talking, but the boy carefully observes movements, gestures, or anything that seems irrelevant or out of place, he especially observes very carefully the way in which the Captain and Commander talk to each other.

"Eren?" Armin calls for his attention and he has no idea how long his friend took to reach him, in general, Armin is one of those who goes at the end of the formation, but for some time now, he is allowed to be close or ride along with him and Mikasa.

“What”

 “Anything wrong”

“No, why are you asking?”

"I have the feeling that something is happening, for some time now you’ve seen very distracted. Is not usual for you, and your sister and I are concerned about you."

"No, I'm fine. I don’t think that this is a good time to talk about any concerns.”

"You’re right, but with all the preparations, well, we haven’t had time not even to say good morning whenever we passed each other in the halls"

Eren snorts to Armin's comment because he is absolutely right, the days had flown by and they haven’t had time not even to have a bad thought. That is the reason why at this moment of apparent calm some of Eren's might-not-be-a-good-idea-to-think-about-this thoughts have decided to once again reappear.

 

 _                     _                    

 

“Watch out!”

Eren hears in the most opportune moment and seconds before smashing his face flat in the closest Titan’s face.

 _“fuck! That was close”_ Eren thinks and the idea of a titan being his first kiss is not in his plans, not if he can avoid it.

 “Are you okay? Dude, that was AWESOME!! The way you did that maneuver- MAN! - I wish you could do that again!” Connie sounded static and as always _that_ is very useful in the tensest moments. Sasha and he are made for each other, well, if they were a couple, of course.   Once safe in one of the branches of the Giants trees, Armin also joins the celebration since he had also been a witness to the incredible summersaults that Eren had managed when he put an end to the Titan.

“Get back to your fucking positions!”

And it is the command that everyone hears and when the trio looks down, they can see their Captain mounted on his horse making movements that indicate that this is not the time to celebrate because there are still some Titans that needed to be eliminated. As always Mikasa had been able to decimate a couple and she was on her way to help the others who were dealing with a ten meter aberrant and Hange along with Commander Smith were trying to finish another fifteen meters, also aberrant. The group had had some luck finding the six giants near the forest of giant trees, that way it made it easier to maneuver their equipment.

“fuck it. Shit!”

Levi shouted after a few seconds and none of them were prepared for what they saw. Their Commander was trapped between the giant’s hands and Hange was unconscious on the ground.  The Captain looked like a human bullet when he dismounted his horse using his gear and practically swaying accurately from one place to another in the titan’s body. Everything went so fast because what followed in the next seconds was the massive titan’s hand falling towards the ground with the Commander, who was still trapped in it. 

Levi was forgetting all danger when he used all its momentum to reach and rescue the Commander just mere second before touching the ground, but the danger was not over yet since both were now standing close to the foot of the beast which was also recovering the lost limb in a fast pace.  Levi was still struggling to free Commander Smith from the decaying remains. Eren finally reacted, his body and mind screaming to reach over to his superiors when he saw the titan beginning to lift his foot…

Eren made a sudden stop when he saw the giant falling on opposite side, smoke evaporating from his back, obviously defeated and behind it, Mikasa.

 

_                     _                     _

 

"Did you see the Squad Leader?"

"Yes and it seems that nothing happened. Our beloved Squad Leader looks like the extremely cheerful person that we all know. But I'm afraid that the blow to the head made it much worse"

"Is not possible, even more?"  And with a nod, Amin confirmed Eren’s fears.

The expedition had been in a way successful, luckily there were not many injured soldiers and no human casualties. The team that the Commander had chosen for the expedition showed their capacity one hundred percent, even when among the few wounded the Commander was included and Hange too; which by the way the accident had been cause thanks to one of Hange’s oversights.

On the way back everyone commented on Mikasa’s heroism. Thanks to her the expedition had ended well, but in Eren’s mind, there is also the scene that is repeated over and over again, when the Captain had dangerously exposed himself to save his Commander. At the moment it was difficult for him to explain everything that happened with words and is not as if they hadn’t had their share of dangerous encounters or close calls when it comes to Titans, but there was a moment when the Captain, using all his strength,  threw the commander as far as possible from the imminent danger when he realized that the foot of the giant was about to step on them.

Eren knows with certainty or in fact that Levi is not an irrational person and under no circumstances would he allow his emotions to take away the best of him which is the fact that the captain always thinks with a cold head any of his situations even in the most difficult moments. Eren also knows that Levi without hesitation would give his life to save one of his companions, but for some reason, when the boy witnessed that the captain was ready to give his life in exchange for his superior or perhaps due to the action or reaction from everything that happened, he was sure now that there was something else, that little detail that the boy is more than determined to discover at all costs what it means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!! \\(^-^)/

**Author's Note:**

> I will try to post a few more chapters soon and I will get into a one day by week posting, depending time. I really hope you like this and thanks for giving my little Idea a chance.
> 
> See you Soon!!!!


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